Ginny's Pranks
by Cynicism and Happiness
Summary: The oneshots are getting to be way too much, so I'm compiling the next few into a Ginny's Pranks story. The Weasleys are betrayed, but still keep pranking. Author formerly known as Naz in Black
1. Family Feud

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing of Harry Potter, except, of course, by fanfics. Haven't I said that sometime before? Several times?

**A/N:** This set of stories is for the people who ask me to put more of Ginny's pranks into my other stories (by reviews and in school), so why not make a whole series of Ginny's pranks? Thanks everyone.

**Family Feud **(A/N: I gave up in the Star Wars names. Too difficult)

Ginny, Fred, and George were elated. And Ginny wasn't feeling guilty. It was Snape's fault that he'd set himself on fire and it was Trelawney's fault that she was there. Technically. Right?

Snape was not happy. He wasn't harmed…save the fact that he now had a bald spot—so his pride was shot, yet again.

Snape took to wearing a bath towel over his head. Trelawney refused to lend him a shawl, as he had burned and used quite a few of hers in previous weeks.

The teachers were laughing at Snape, and there was no end to his humiliation. Snape learned not to mess with the Weasleys; he even decided against giving the whole lot of them detention. You see reader, even the toughest nuts have to crack at some point.

Percy was a whole different cup of tea, however. Not only had he given Fred and George detention (he wasn't afraid to, unlike the supposedly fearless Potions Master), he'd also written to his mother regarding Ginny's "unfortunate, but ardent following what we may call 'the Fred and George route' and partaking in dangerous activities in order to sabotage the unwary professors."

He figured that the siblings would not retaliate, with him being their older brother.

As for Ron, he was sent his second Howler, at which Harry and Hermione laughed hysterically.

The red envelope had arrived at the Gryffindor table on Wednesday morning. With a fair amount of trepidation and badly shaking hands, Ron slit open the letter with Hermione's butter knife. It was worse than he expected. Mrs. Weasley's voice echoed loudly in the Great Hall as it had done the previous year the day after Ron and Harry illegally flew Mr. Weasley's borrowed Ministry car from King's Cross Station to Hogwarts.

"RONALD WEASLEY! I AM ONCE MORE, VERY, VERY, _VERY _ASHAMED OF YOU! THE TEACHERS ARE NOT TO BE SPIED ON FOR ANY NASTY ACTIVITIES OF YOUR SILLY TWIN BROTHERS. I HOPE YOU ARE LISTENING, FRED, AND YOU TOO, GEORGE! RONALD, YOUR BROTHERS HAVE GONE IN A DIRECTION THAT I DON'T LIKE, BUT YOU MUSTN'T FOLLOW THE SAME PATHWAY! I AM ALSO HEARTILY ASHAMED OF YOU, GINNY WEASLEY! I NEVER EXPECTED THIS FROM EITHER OF YOU! IF I HEAR OF ANY MORE NONSENSE FROM PERCY ABOUT ALL OF YOU, I WILL MARCH RIGHT UP THERE AND TAKE YOU OUT OF THAT SCHOOL, AND YOU WILL BE DE-GNOMING UNTIL YOU TURN SEVENTEEN!"

A stunned silence fell at the Weasley's section of the table, while everyone else around them laughed. Ron was shocked. "Oh. My. God."

George broke in. "How the heck did she know?"

"Didn't you listen to that last bit there? 'If I hear of any more nonsense from Percy' and all that? It's our _dear brother_, Percy," answered Ginny, bitterly.

"I always knew there was something wrong with him," said Fred, "maybe he got dropped on his head when he was little, or something. He was always such a goody-goody."

"Stuck-up little…"

"Yeah, he was," reminisced George. "Used to drive me crazy, that one did. I remember when I was four, he told on me for eating all those Muggle sweets that Dad brought home…you know, those funny chocolate sticks that Muggles call 'Aeros', or something like that. And you know what? He'd eaten some of them himself. Fred and I just divided what was left…sort of."

"Well never mind your Aeros!" snapped Ginny. "I say we get that—that—that…"

"Brother?"

"How does he go and do something like that? I mean, really, that was quite a bit of an exaggeration. _Snape_ had lit the fireworks in the first place. They were your property. He stole it. He's a criminal, if you look at it in the right way, I mean."

"True…very true…"

"So—we get him?"

"Spoken like a true Weasley, sister. You might even make me proud someday," smiled Fred, approvingly. "Now—what do we do?"

"The usual stuff, I guess."

"Sounds good to me."

"Yeah, okay," assented George.

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Percy awoke the next morning at three a.m., most likely because Ginny had fiddled around with his alarm clock the evening before, while Percy was at dinner.

However, Percy thought that it was about seven and blearily stumbled into the little bathroom annex in the dormitory. As he brushed his teeth, he noticed something funny about the toothpaste. Now why did it taste like Hermione's Benzyl Peroxide?

"ARGH!" He spat it out violently. Percy grabbed a towel and rubbed it up and down his tongue. "Nasty stuff. Must've taken the wrong tube."

He grabbed some lotion from the shelf. To his horror, it was just like…

"My toothpaste!"

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While Percy was experiencing his bathroom misfortunes upstairs, Ginny was sneaking out of Gryffindor Tower with a camera. According to Ron, Penelope Clearwater had another boy whom she met in the Charms classroom around three or three-thirty every morning for a little stroll, or more…

Ginny wanted to see if it was true.

She waited (hidden under Harry's Invisibility Cloak, which she planned to return as soon as possible) with the camera, and sure, there came Penelope giggling softly and holding a boy's hand. Now who could this be?

"_Crap!_" Ginny muttered to herself. The boy's face was in shadow, but he started to turn. "Okay, a little more this way,_ come on! Turn!_" hissed Ginny.

Ginny gasped with a feeling of evil pleasure. The boy was no other than…can you guess, reader?

Oh yes, it was…(drum roll please)

Gregory Goyle.

Ginny snickered and snapped a picture, without really looking to see what was going on in the room and what she may have taken a picture of…

When she had gotten back to the Tower and was panting near the fire as her trustworthy friend, Colin Creevey, developed the film, she gasped again and started laughing hysterically with Colin.

Some _major_ making out was going on between Penelope and Goyle in the picture. And to think…Penelope was supposed to be one of the most classy and popular girls in the school, while everyone hated Goyle, save Pansy Parkinson, Malfoy, and Crabbe.

And Penelope.

Ginny tiptoed up to her brother's dormitory and slipped the picture under his pillowcase.

She then ran to Fred and George's dormitory, where Ron and Harry were also waiting. She shoved the Cloak back at Harry.

The four boys were holding sheets and blanket covers in their hands. Ginny grinned.

At this point, Percy was coming out of the bathroom…

Fred and George pounced on him, just at the right moment. Ron and Harry tied a sheet around his legs while Ginny got his arms with Hermione's blanket cover (lent to her for this purpose). Fred and George wrapped him up with any extra sheets they had, so Percy was stuck in some sort of sheet-cocoon. Quite amusing.

Ron stuck a sock in his mouth. "That's for your news-carrying self," he muttered harshly. Percy made an indistinct noise with his throat as Colin cam up behind them and started snapping away with his camera.

Harry, Ginny, Ron, Fred, and George left Percy like that for the day, until dinner, when they relented and untied them.

George gave his brother a serious talking-to. "And beware, Percival. If this ever reached Mother's ears, I should be quite sorry to think what may happen to you next."

Percy growled and decided to turn in early.

One staircase down, across a room, another staircase up, and a dormitory away, Ginny heard Percy's anguished howl. "PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

Ginny snickered. Ah, well, all in a day's work.

**A/N:** I did something similar to this to my brother when we were really little. He was about three and was seriously annoying me, so I tied him up with those long, cloth dinner napkins and stuck him under the table for some ten minutes. I said that we were playing "Cowboy," but somehow, he really didn't believe me.


	2. A New Arrival

**Disclaimer: **I do not and will never own Harry Potter.

**A/N:** This chapter is a little short. I'm modeling the look of Sylvester and how adorable he is on one of my friends' younger brothers. I'm dead serious, that kid looks just like your idea of a cherub and you have to adore him as soon as you see him. Love you, little man!

**New Arrival**

"Who's the new kid?" asked Ginny, poking Hermione in the shoulder. An adorable little boy stood next to Professor McGonagall, smiling shyly. With big blue eyes, a tiny, perfect mouth, a round face, and wavy blond hair, he was the most adorable little child Hermione and Ginny had ever seen. He met their gazes and smiled toothily.

"Awwwwww!"

Ginny's question was soon answered by Professor McGonagall's announcement. "My nephew—my sister's son, Sylvester, is staying with me for a time. He will be sitting quietly in classes. Please do not be distracted by him. Say hello, Sylvester."

Sylvester walked in front of the table and muttered a timid, "H-hi."

A great sigh when around the hall. Whispers of, "Oh! He's so cute!" and "What a little darling!" and even, "God, I wish my brother were that sweet," broke out.

Harry smiled. "Wow, even a little kid like that is making me softhearted."

Sylvester turned his forget-me-not blue eyes towards Ginny and smiled his sweet, little Cupid smile. Ginny sighed. A whole lot of sighing was going on today.

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Transfiguration was the last class of the day for Harry, Hermione, and Ron. Thank goodness.

As usual, Ron was paying the bare minimum amount of attention. Hermione was kind of fazing as well, but that was because she kept staring at Sylvester.

(Hermione's thoughts)

_What a sweet little man. He's adorable. Look at those chubby little cheeks. AW! I just want to hug him! And he's not even making any noise. He's studying his book; well obviously, he will be very responsible when he grows up. Yes, okay, it's Nippy the Gnome, but still! At least he's not disturbing anyone, and he's reading so carefully. _

Yes, Sylvester was studying Nippy the Gnome with a diligent-looking face. He was behaving extremely well.

Considering the fact that he was Minerva McGonagall's nephew, I'm not much surprised; are you, reader?

I didn't think so.

Finally, _finally_, the bell rang loudly. Ron, who had been dozing off (clearly exemplified by the thin line of spittle that was hanging out of his uncouthly open mouth), awoke with a jolt and a strange noise that sounded like a cross between a donkey's bray and a duck.

Hermione, Ron, and Harry all got back to the common room to finish Professor Sprout's essay on henbane and hemlock.

They also had to practice turning feathers into darts and then back.

Harry reached into his bag for his wand. Feeling nothing, he groped about frantically.

Hermione looked at him. "Harry…?"

Harry started throwing books and parchment out of his bag in a frenzy.

Now Ron was concerned. "Hey, mate…?"

"WHERE THE HECK IS MY WAND!"

**A/N: **The character of Sylvester is not based on my little friend, as you will soon see. I hope you like the Ginny's Pranks series so far, and I hope you'll continue reading. Sorry that this chapter is so short. It's more of a bridge, but still, I promise I will make the next longer.


	3. Naughty Nephew

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter, but I do own Sylvester, so HA! Sorry, had to get that out of my system

**Naughty Nephew**

Harry was in a serious panic now. Between bouts of babbling incoherently and swearing, he was running his hands through his messy, black hair.

"I can't find it! How the #$& did I lose it? I couldn't have…oh! How could I have lost it? I have _never _lost my wand!"

Hermione was caught between mirth and panic. "O-o-okay. Um, I—look, where did you last see it?"

"We were getting out of Transfiguration and McGonagall and that little kid, what's-his-face—Sylvester were passing by and Sylvester bumped into me. Maybe I dropped it there?"

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "Hm. It's possible, but we definitely can't go look for it now; it's after nine. I think Fred and George have landed themselves in another detention. Maybe they'll have noticed it. It's cleaning the Transfiguration and Charms classrooms, so they will pass down that corridor eventually."

"Excellent," Harry groaned. "Just what I need. I go and…" he used some _very_ strong language at this point and continued his string of curses for a full two minutes without stopping.

Hermione had her eyebrows raised when Harry paused to draw breath. "Done yet?" she asked cynically.

Harry growled an indistinct answer.

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About twenty minutes later, the Weasley twins walked into the room, wearing this-is-a-grave-situation-but-it's-making-me-laugh looks.

"Hey Harry," muttered George. His twin did the same. "Guess what?" continued George, "There was a noise coming out of the closet in the Transfiguration room. It sounded like Sylvester."

"What'd he say?"

"It was kind of funny, you know, like, 'I've got a wand! I've got a wand!' Poor person. Whoever's missing his wand has a lot of work to do, getting it out of the kid's hands. He sounds like a lot of work to me, and that says something."

Harry's eyes widened. Hermione gasped.

"Harry…"

"Come off it!" Harry laughed. "How would he have gotten my wand?"

"Harry—_he has _gotten your wand. Oh, but I'm sure it was all childish fun; he probably doesn't know how important it is."

Which, reader, was, as you will see, not at all an accurate statement.

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Harry walked into the Transfiguration classroom the next morning, ready to give that Sylvester a piece of his mind.

Ginny's class was leaving. As Loony Lovegood walked out of the room, there was a great flash of electric blue light and several loud screams.

Professor McGonagall's voice was heard, shouting and trying to restore calm, "Now, please, don't panic, do not panic, go on to the Hospital Wing, Miss Weasley, I'm sure Madam Pomfrey will clear you up…"

Ginny stomped out the door—and directly into Harry. She blushed bright red and tried to run off.

Harry was about to start laughing hysterically. All thoughts of Sylvester were banished from his mind.

Ginny's appearance had changed. It seemed as though she had permanent makeup on. She had on white face makeup, black lipstick and eyeliner, and her hair had been cropped short and had been turned black (proper background music: "Emo Kid").

Ginny was looking half embarrassed, half furious. Harry was amused. "Hey—what happened?"

"It's that adorable little—MENACE! Sylvester!"

Harry stopped grinning. "Say what?"

"Apparently, he's got someone's wand. Careless person, leaving his wand all over—anyway, the kid's got it and wreaking havoc in the classroom. Now he's hiding and Professor McGonagall can't find him."

"Hm…"

Ginny blushed and turned around. "Well…I'll see you later, Harry, um bye," she mumbled and ran off.

Harry watched the classroom with narrowed eyes. He thought he'd found out where his wand actually was, and he was not skeptical about its whereabouts…

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Professor McGonagall had given up searching for her nephew. _Little devil_, she thought, _what was Lydia thinking when she said that a school environment might instill some discipline in her son? Now he's stealing wands!_

Hermione, Ron, and Harry had split up, searching for the miniature demon.

Hermione's thoughts:

_I hope he can explain himself. I can't think anything bad of him; he's just so adorable! And yet, he's disfigured Ginny. Poor Ginny. I hope Madam Pomfrey will be able to fix her, or that face, at least. God, what an evil little man!_

She crept behind a tapestry and waited.

Harry's thoughts:

_I will hunt that little man down. Hm. He steals my wand, he puts some crazy Emo-Halloween makeup on my best friend's sister, and what'll he do next? I wasn't that bad at that time. Dudley wasn't that bad at that time! And that's saying something. God, what an evil little man!_

He crept behind the door leading to the Great Hall.

Ron's thoughts:

_#$&$! Fred and George wouldn't even attempt crap like that! Well, maybe they could've, I dunno. But not to a girl, I guess. They would've done it to Lee Jordan or something. I reckon McGonagall's stern self wasn't really handed down to her nephew, hm? God, what an evil little man!_

He crept behind a door leading into a broom closet near the trapdoor leading to the North Tower.

Suddenly, there was a flash of red light and a shout of "STUPEFY!" Ron screamed bloody murder and fell to the ground.

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Ron awoke three hours later. People were coming out of classes now. _How long have I been asleep? Ah well, whatever. Now why do I feel a breeze around my…lower area? Whatever, I know I've got my robes. Better get to the common room. What time is it anyway? _

People started to stare at Ron. Ron was offended. They were _laughing _at him!

_What? What the heck is wrong with all you people? I'm not that interesting! Oh look, there's Harry. He'll tell me what's going on. _

Ron should have looked to see what he was wearing. He walked up to his best friend. People stopped by to watch. Someone whistled very loudly.

"Harry, what the…"

"Ron! Where've you been?"

"I dunno, I was looking for Sylvester and then I was Stupefied…I think he's doing some serious damage with your wand, mate."

"No kidding? He's put you in a dress, apparently, Ron." (Good theme music: "Dude Looks Like a Lady" by Aerosmith!)

"What—AAAAAAHHH!"

Ron was in a very unattractive chartreuse green dress. It looked like something from the eighteenth century. It had the full skirt, broad, puffy sleeves, and had a terribly low neckline.

"THIS IS DISGUSTING! I'LL KILL THAT LITTLE MENACE!"

**A/N: **Ah, Ronald, what shall we do with you? Can any of you think of what Sylvester should do next? And what Ginny should do to retaliate? Thanks guys.


	4. Mayhem

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter (I think I used up all my remotely amusing disclaimers a long time ago).

**Mayhem**

Now poor Ronald had to go back to the Gryffindor common room, which was practically on the other side of the castle, through throngs of snickering students. Ah, Ronald, what shall we do with you?

He skulked behind Harry, hoping that no one would pay attention…that everyone was too focused on the latest gossip in the castle, or his or her homework…_please don't let them be paying attention to me…please, please, please!_

But no one was too focused on the latest gossip or on his or her homework at that moment. All were staring and laughing at him, as he tried (unsuccessfully, I must say) to conceal himself behind his friend.

As if the day couldn't get any worse, Ginny, Fred, and George were waiting in the common room with Colin Creevey's camera.

Needless to say, Ron was the laughingstock of the school for the next few days.

Even Harry was lighthearted enough to laugh at him.

But they had another problem, and this time, it was Professor McGonagall's problem as well: Sylvester and Harry's wand were nowhere to be found.

Ginny's appearance was fine, save the facts that a) her hair was still black (but would change back to normal after a month, Madam Pomfrey assured her) and b) somehow, it had developed neon green vertical stripes here and there (good theme music: "Bad to the Bone").

Harry still didn't have his wand, but luckily for him, George Weasley had just received a wand from his mother for something good he'd done at school (probably a perfect Transfiguration test or something, a rarity). So George gave Harry his old wand (which was actually Charlie's once upon a time) and of course, it was seriously malfunctioning.

Let's pause the story for a minute to prove my point, reader.

Case scenario:

Issue: malfunctioning wand

Subject: owner of wand, Harry James Potter

Place: Charms classroom

Evidence of Foul Play so far: Draco Abraxas Malfoy has been turned into a platypus

Subject walks into Charms classroom looking wary. Subject listens to directions given by instructor. Subject pulls out article in question. (_Red light!_) Subject waves article in question once up, twice sideways, once left, once right. Subject states incantation of spell to be practiced. Big flash of orange light occurs. Charms instructor falls out window and hangs there for two full minutes, while students panic. Seamus Finnegan rescues Charms instructor and takes him to infirmary, where he is treated with Calming Draught.

You understand what I mean now, don't you reader?

Of course you do.

As well as turning Malfoy into a waddling blob of fur with a duckbill and poisonous glands and blasting Professor Flitwick outside a window, on the third floor, might I add, Harry had burnt Ron's carefully written Herbology essay, shrunk Professor Snape to the size of a thimble (though not much of the school was too sad about this), and turned Percy into a blond.

Percy was extremely irate. So was Ron, but he was angrier with George than with Harry, as the wand had previously belonged to George.

And Sylvester was wreaking more and more havoc on the school, but the funny thing was—_no one could catch him_. Come to that, _no one could even find him._

Harry discovered why when he was looking for his socks one morning and realized that the Invisibility Cloak was missing.

"_How the heck did he get into Gryffindor Tower?" _

**A/N:** So, what do you think, readers? How did Sylvester get into Gryffindor Tower? I actually do have an idea as to how. Let me hint—think of the year this is set in (if you go back to the oneshots, and read them carefully, you will see) and think of a certain forgetful boy's issues involving entering the Tower. Just think carefully. Tell me what you think, if you like.


	5. Hermione's Wrath

**Disclaimer: **Do I look like J.K. Rowling? Yes, that's right, I don't. Therefore, I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER! Deal with it.

Hermione's Wrath 

The mystery was soon solved. Sylvester had (as you know, reader) borrowed Harry's Invisibility Cloak (if we can say "borrowed") and had been hiding in Snape's Potions cupboard. But even the most brilliant criminal minds can slip every so often, as can slippery Invisibility Cloaks.

Snape had been searching his stores for a Calming Draught to settle his nerves (prior to this, reader, Sylvester had stolen the several essays he was supposed to have graded that night. Therefore, Snape was more than a little frustrated).

He discovered the little miscreant snoring away, surrounded by a few broken bottles, a yellowish-green pool of liquid, and a couple of rancid frogs.

The Invisibility Cloak had slipped to his neck.

Sylvester was in disgrace. Professor McGonagall was feeling an interesting combination of emotions: disgust, relief, shock, frustration, anxiety, the whole nine yards.

She was disgusted with Sylvester's behaviour, relieved at his safety, shocked at the damage a five-year-old angelic looking child could actually create, frustrated with the state of things, and anxious about the safety of other students. Harry's wand, if you remember, was stolen by none other than the angelic-looking marplot and was replaced by an old wand of George Weasley.

Harry's wand was causing more havoc than the law should allow. At this point in time, Flitwick was in the Hospital Wing with a couple fractured ribs, a broken ankle, and a great amount of shock, Malfoy was shedding clumps of brown hair, and (recently) Professor Trelawney had become a dragonfly. Hermione's cat, Crookshanks had gone missing as well. Oh yes, and I must have missed this one: Eloise Midgen was speaking in a mixture of limericks and unrepeatable curse words. Interesting dilemma.

Sylvester was forced to confess as to how he had illegally entered the Gryffindor Tower. Shamefaced, he stood with his golden head bowed in front of his stern aunt.

"The mad knight wouldn't let me in, Auntie."

"And he's not supposed to; that's the point of the portrait. Well—get on with it. What did you do…and _how on earth_ did you get into the Tower? No—don't answer that, with a password, obviously, but _how on earth_ did you get the passwords?"

"This mean old cat had a list, Auntie. There were words on the list and they sounded like stuff the mad knight would say."

"Such as…?"

"Like 'scurvy cur', 'back you rogue', and ''."

"_Sylvester!_"

"Well that's what it said."

"And what exactly did you mean by 'this mean old cat'?"

"This funny looking cat with orange hair and a flat face, Auntie."

Professor McGonagall was in shock. _This must mean he's seen Crookshanks_ she thought to herself.

"And—what did you do to the cat, Sylvester?"

"Oh, I made his paws flat too, Auntie."

"W-What?"

"Yeah. There was a book I had, Auntie. I think it's yours. It's called Metamorphosis: From Hare to Tortoise."

_So that's where it went. Little demon. _"And you…?"

"I dropped it on his toes!" Sylvester held himself up proudly. "Then he made a funny hissy sound and dropped the list thingy."

"Oh my—where is the cat now, Sylvester?"

"Oh, I dunno. Maybe in the toilet where I stuck him. There's a funny ghost girl there too; she likes to wail and moan and splash water around."

"**_SYLVESTER!_**"

Professor McGonagall rushed out of the room, white-faced. Luckily for her, Hermione was coming down the hallway just at the moment.

"Miss Granger, I believe I've found…"

"My best quill? I seem to have lost it this morning. Where was it?"

"No, no, no, not the quill—your cat, actually."

"WHAT?"

"Calm down, please. Now, tell me, have you, erm, used the bathroom belonging to that dead girl?"

"Who, Moaning Myrtle? No, I never go down there if I can help it…that's not where you've—oh my God."

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Hermione and the Transfiguration teacher sprinted down to the bathroom. Hermione was livid when she saw the state her cat was in. Poor Crookshanks was thin and cold and looked like a wet hen.

"**_I WILL KILL THAT KID!_** "

**A/N:** Well, shorter chapter, but now that it's summer, I can do this a lot more often. Thanks to my reviewers; I will post more about Ginny soon.


	6. Alliance

**Disclaimer: **No, I do not own Harry Potter or anything relating to it (for goodness' sake)

**Alliance**

Sylvester obviously had not learned his lesson from the "cat incident" as Harry jokingly put it. He was on the rampage.

Not only had he stuffed Crookshanks down a toilet, he'd also teased a Biting Bluebell in Greenhouse Three, therefore sustaining serious bite, drawn a very mean picture of Snape that reminds me of Elton John in one of his more stunning suits (A/N: it's sequined and pink, I believe. Sorry Elton. I love your music.), and last, but definitely not least, (drum roll please)…

Professor McGonagall had brought little Sylvester to stay in Dumbledore's rooms, in an annex to the office. She figured he'd have some respect for the headmaster of such a prestigious school, but she definitely underestimated Sylvester, for the next morning, Dumbledore's beard was _gone_.

You see, reader, Sylvester, bored as he was in the middle of the night, had "borrowed" a funny looking sword that happened to be covered with blood and untidily sliced off Dumbledore's hard work of several years, in the form of his silver hair. I don't think I need to tell you, reader, of Dumbledore's shock when he woke the next morning to find the nest of silver hair that had rested next to him for the past forty-some years was just, simply, unbelievably _not there_.

Dumbledore laughed off the matter (while the students and most of the staff laughed _at_ the matter), but Professor McGonagall was incredibly irate.

How had this little menace come into the family? How was he related to her? _How? How? HOW?_

Ginny was getting more and more angry. The green stripes were not fading at all. As a matter of fact, they were turning electric blue. And her hair was still black with whatever spell that Sylvester had placed on her.

Harry had two of his most important possessions back: his wand and Cloak. So, Harry was happy.

Hermione was not happy. A) Crookshanks was not quite the way he was before and B) he'd coughed up some you-know-what or you-can-guess on Hermione's neatly written Potions essay.

Let's rewind to that night, shall we reader? This is where our chapter really begins.

"Hey Ginny."

"Hi Hermione. What're you doing?"

"Potions essay. Quite difficult, I must say. Next year will be very intensive for you, Ginny, have fun. And poisons. This one's the uses of essence of nightshade, rather nasty."

"Ah, I see. Well how…"

"Ginny…"

"What?"

"Erm, have you…?"

"Have I what?"

"Here, take this." Hermione handed her friend a small compact mirror.

"What for? Do I—AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH!"

Ginny had caught sight of her hair.

"It's just gotten worse! I kill the little creep! He was so cute before; what happened?"

"I—don't—know…" Hermione was having difficulty controlling her laughter.

"_You_ might laugh, Hermione, but if the little rat had dyed _your_ hair some strange blue, then—wait, he stuffed your…"

"Cat down the toilet? Yes, basically."

"Ah. I see. Is he okay?"

"Who, Sylvester, or Crookshanks?"

"Frankly, I don't care if the demon is okay, your cat, I mean."

"Sort of, he—hey."

"What?"

"Does he look a little funny to you?"

"Well he _smells_ a little funny. But I can't blame him for that; he didn't choose to be shoved down a toilet."

"No, I mean, like he's going to be sick."

"Sick? Cat sick? All over here? Just what I need—hey, Fuzz Face, hurl over _there_."

"Ginny!"

"Sorry, but…"

The girls screamed at the same time.

"**_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_**"

"My robes!"

"_MY ESSAY!_"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Like I said, reader. So, let's skip the bit where Hermione starts crying over her essay, Ron laughs at the state of the girls, and Ginny knocks out Ron.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Hermione, this is disgusting."

"No ---- Sherlock, now I have to re-write my whole essay."

"Don't be mean. And I'm talking about Sylvester."

"True."

"What do we do?"

"Make his life miserable."

"That can be arranged."

"I'm game. This time, I will have absolutely no qualms."

"I'll get the Spellotape."

"Erm—Ginny, I don't think we need to get _that_ extreme."

"Well what do you suggest?"

**A/N:** What will Hermione and Ginny come up with? Well, where there's a prank, there's always…_The Weasley Twins_. Thanks for reading and my next chapter will be up soon.


	7. Ginny's Newest

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter.

Ginny's Newest 

"Ginny Weasley, I cannot believe you are undertaking this. Actually, I would completely refuse to take any part of this crazy plot of yours, but under the circumstances…"

"Save it for later, Hermione, this is a great moment for me; it's a shame Percy couldn't impress me like this," interrupted Fred.

"Well, I don't want to lecture…"

"That's news," muttered Ron.

"…But I really don't think that—"

"Skip the sermon and just come on," cut in George.

"_Fine_. God, you all have absolutely no patience whatsoever."

Ginny grinned. This would humiliate the little menace for the rest of his life at Hogwarts.

Let's go back a little, reader. Surprisingly enough, Professor McGonagall had given the Weasleys permission to do what they wished to her evil nephew, save killing him or terminally injuring the boy.

Professor McGonagall was just so fed up with him that practically _any _measures to get him to behave that did not yield (extremely) serious consequences were fine with her.

So she gave the Weasleys the go ahead and go ahead they did.

Hermione was still protesting as she, Ginny, Fred, George, and Ron were leaving Gryffindor Tower armed with their wands and Colin Creevey's camera.

"Honestly—Ginny, Ron, Fred, George—I _really_ don't think much of, of _doing what we're going to do_. Must we do it when he's in the toilet?"

"Well, would you like it when he's fully dressed then?" retorted Ginny.

"Actually yes."

"That would defeat the purpose, unless you're planning to hold him down and get the pants, Hermione."

"But—but—look, photographing him while he's—you know, in there, is not very—_nice_," she concluded quite lamely.

"Come on, Hermione, McGonagall _said _we could do basically anything," said Ron.

"Yes, I know, but…" She was at a loss for words.

"It'll be fine. We're not poisoning him, drowning him in a bathtub, stoning him, digging out his liver with a fork, disemboweling him, or—wait, George, what was the other thing?"

"Amputating his limbs in an unorthodox manner."

"Right—see? There you go. No problem at all."

Hermione was still slightly unconvinced. "But why do _I _have to take the picture?"

"I already told you, Hermione," answered Ginny. "None of us have clean records and yours is practically spotless."

"Yours are okay," she muttered.

"Yeah, like when Fred, George, and I accidentally-on-purpose set Snape on fire, and stole his clothes—or when Ron broke just about every single school rule with Harry last year to get me out of the Chamber, or when I strangled four of the roosters and set a deadly snake on four students and a ghost, or when Fred and George set off five Dungbombs in Filch's office two years ago, or…"

"It's okay, Ginny, I get the point, but the diary incident wasn't your fault."

"Well, yeah, but still. You're taking the pictures."

"But I _really_…"

"Just try to aim properly—and don't focus too much on what you're actually aiming at."

"Oh, that's reassuring."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Hermione and the Weasleys crept into the teachers' bathroom. Professor McGonagall had restricted him to this particular loo because he seemed to cause some sort of destruction in every single boys' bathroom he'd been in (and girls' bathroom, though he technically was not supposed to be in there in the first place).

She he would not cause as much trouble in there with teachers watching him. In this case, she was right.

As I said, the five pranksters crept into the teachers' bathroom to see if they could find Sylvester and humiliate him with a few embarrassing photos of—well can't you guess?

Ginny was obviously desperate to resort to such a means of humiliation. Her hair was not turning red and she looked like some sort of drug-dealing punk, or someone who had _a lot _of self-confidence (you choose).

"Okay," whispered Ginny. "Just—come quietly, I guess, and Hermione—take the picture and _run_."

George heard someone singing. "I think it's coming from _that_ cubicle." He pointed to the farthest one. "Okay, in five—four—three—two—GO!"

Hermione sprinted across the floor and whipped open the cubicle door. Immediately, she started snapping away as many pictures as she could.

Someone shouted from that cubicle. It was a rather rude, "-------------------------!"

Someone laughed.

Hermione didn't realize the shout was of a deep voice while the laugh was high-pitched.

Hermione and the Weasleys ran back to Gryffindor Tower in a world-record-worthy time span of two minutes. Hermione watched the blurry photos developed.

Ron was clearly noticing a problem.

Ginny did not. "What's up, Ron?"

"Erm, Ginny, is it just me—or does Sylvester have black hair?"

"Um, no. What the—?"

Fred was slightly concerned. "Um, that doesn't look like Sylvester."

Hermione broke the tense silence. "Oh. My. God."

All said the same thing at once. "_SNAPE!_"

Then… "**_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!_**"

**A/N: **Sorry Puss in Green, I know you love Snape. Thank you, readers who like this. I'll post soon.


	8. Humiliation!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter

**Start of the Valley of Humiliation (for our cherub) **

Well, reader, you can imagine the actions Snape took. Snape was furious at being photographed while (of all things) in the toilet.

He even confiscated the photos (save one, which Ginny had hidden for future).

After a week of detention, Hermione was seething mad. She raged at Ginny.

"Pickling rat brains!"

"I know."

"Sorting out the good worms!"

"I know."

"_Making that foul stuff to pickle rabbit livers!_"

"Okay, Hermione, I get the point."

"**_Slicing chipmunk toes and then pickling them!_**"

"Hermione…"

"_TESTING POISON ANTIDOTES!_"

"You had to do that?"

"_STEWING BAT WINGS AND FROG HEADS!_"

"Okay, okay…"

"**_PUTTING AWAY THE CHICKEN BEAKS!_**"

"Cool it, Hermione, it's not getting you anywhere; we still have a problem."

"**_AND WE STILL HAVE A PROBLEM!_**"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

So, Hermione was, um, not happy, shall we put it?

Sylvester was still not humiliated and they'd had a week of detention.

Not a good situation.

Ginny plotted some more—and some more. Finally…finally…

_It never actually came to her._

Ginny was disappointed. All her best ideas had been used up!

_Well,_ she thought, _if I can't actually kick him out of Hogwarts, I can really irritate him. _

Ginny smiled. She was good at that.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Sylvester awoke the next morning to a bright, sunny day. Perfect. He grinned. He could make some more mischief. He opened his sock drawer to find his favourite socks _missing_.

Now Sylvester was mad. No one messed with the socks.

Oh look, there they were, on the chair. He unfolded them and started to pull them on. As he pulled them on, he noticed they were getting smaller and smaller by the minute.

How strange.

"Darn!"

The socks were small enough to fit a doll. "Humph!" Crossly, he threw them across the room. Unfortunately, they did not make a loud noise or break. Sylvester picked up a pillow to throw at the beautiful painting of the Lady of Shalott near the window. Hopefully, it would fall and smash. He drew back his arm…and…

Suddenly the pillow freed itself from Sylvester's grasp and began to beat him around the head and shoulders.

"AAH!"

The pillow smacked him in the face.

"STOP IT! AHH! AUNTIE MINNIE! **HELP**!"

He ran from the room.

Inside the closet, Ginny and Hermione smiled at each other.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Harry draped a white sheet over his Invisibility Cloak, which was draped over Ron. Ron scowled under the two layers of cloth. "Ginny, do I _have_ to do this?"

"Unless you'd like to persuade the Bloody Baron to chase Sylvester down the hallway."

"Fine."

Ron crept down the hallway to where Sylvester was standing. He was near the Great Hall's doors, examining the students eating breakfast. He'd finished his eggs and was bored.

Ron came up near Sylvester. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH! I'm the ghost of your past, and I'm coming for you!"

Sylvester turned pale, then laughed. "Even a student in a sheet won't scare me."

He pulled off the sheet. Due to the fact that the Invisibility Cloak was under the sheet, Sylvester saw nothing.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! _AUNTIE MINNIE_!"

Ron started to chase him. He pulled his wand from under the Cloak and muttered, "_Wingardium Leviosa!_"

Sylvester flew ten feet into the air. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! HELP"

At this point, Trelawney came down the corridor. "THE SPIRITS!" she yelled and ran away.

"Oops," mumbled Ron.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Eventually, Ron let Sylvester down. Sylvester was unusually subdued today, as Professor McGonagall noticed. She smiled wryly.

_Now what on earth could have caused this change?_

**A/N: **Any ideas as to what else Ginny should do? Please review.


	9. Sylvester's Bad Day

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter

Sylvester's Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day 

Sylvester woke early the next morning. He was glad. All night, he'd been dreaming about scary ghosts with white hands. Not pleasant.

Sylvester reverted to his childlike side. He wished Mommy were there with him. Mommy. Mommy and her curly, chocolate-brown hair and green-grey eyes. Mommy and her wonderful stories about goblins and leprechauns told in a soft, melodious voice. Hmm. _I want Mommy._

Sylvester threw himself on the floor and had a small, five-minute tantrum. The Lady of Shalott portrait did get broken in the process.

Then, there was one thing left to do. _Get the hat._

This was not the hat. This was **_the_** hat. Big difference. Mommy had knitted the little green, red, and orange hat. She had even sewn a small square of cloth on which was embroidered a baby unicorn inside the hat. Only she and Sylvester knew about this little detail.

Sylvester grabbed it and shoved it on his head. Suddenly…

"_EWWW_!"

Vanilla pudding dripped down Sylvester's chubby face. "EEEWWW! Nasty!" Sylvester started to cry. "WWWAAAAAAH! MY HAT!" He ran from the room.

Under the bed, Ginny was cracking up. Hermione looked concerned. "I'll fix the hat. I feel kind of bad about that."

"Don't worry, you just got him a little sticky. Besides, it'll wash off. Eventually."

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Sylvester didn't like the fact that there was pudding in his hat. He didn't like the prissy girl with long red hair. He had anger management problems.

Which is why Ginny found herself stuck in the DADA classroom an hour later with a rather bad-tempered grindylow.

Or rather, glued inside. Sylvester had glued the doorframe, sealed most cracks in the room, and had stolen Ginny's wand.

And had, somehow, put a spell on the room to make it fill up with water.

So…

Ginny was banging on the door, in attempt to loosen it or make someone hear her and swimming frantically in her sodden robes, all done while battling the nasty little water demon.

We think our heroine is going under, don't we reader?

Well, fortunately enough, Harry had Quidditch practice at this point. The Snitch flew over to the DADA window and Harry flew over to get it. He also got an interesting surprise.

He nearly hurt himself laughing.

You can tell that he saved Ginny. Quite heroic. Ginny was grateful (an embarrassed) and furious at Sylvester.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

At twelve p.m., Sylvester went back to his room. Hermione was there, waiting with her wand and an angry expression on her face.

A jet of yellow light threw Sylvester backwards. He screamed at Hermione. "What was that for?"

Hermione heard, "I think you're sexy!"

She grinned. _This'll be fun._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Oliver Wood was leading a happy-looking team over to the Great Hall for lunch. "Great work, guys. We'll flatten Slytherin in the next match."

Katie Bell stopped to talk to Sylvester. Though he was evil, she couldn't get over his cuteness. "Hi!"

"I think you're sexy."

Sylvester was actually trying to say, "Hi Katie," since he did like Katie very much (she always gave him some sort of candy). But the spell had worked very well.

Katie was affronted. "Who taught you that type of thing?"

She stalked off. Fred snickered behind her.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Malfoy liked Sylvester. Here was a kid who knew the right path to take. He smiled at the boy. "Hey kid. What's up?"

"I think you're sexy."

He was trying to say, "Go away!" since he really did not like Malfoy (his friends were big and scary). But the spell had worked very well.

Malfoy was scared. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" He ran off.

"What?"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

When Sylvester got back to his room, a stick of gum was waiting for him. He put it in his mouth and chewed…

_BOOM!_

His mouth was filled with a strong taste of cinnamon.

"AUNTIE MINNIE!"

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews. I'll give Sylvester a break for a while; he's been through a lot.


	10. Malfoy Menace

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter

Malfoy Menace 

(**A/N: **I wish to apologise to Myrtle Riddle for this chapter because I know she will have my head when we get back to school and because I know that she likes Malfoy)

Malfoy was not too happy at being called "sexy" in front of a table of snickering Slytherin students. What made it worse was the fact that the entire Gryffindor table was staring—and laughing at him.

Malfoy would get revenge. He knew it was unwise to get revenge on the little kid (Professor McGonagall would have his head) so he decided to take it out on Harry.

And what do you think he did, reader?

Harry had recently acquired a new broomstick – a Firebolt.

Malfoy grinned evilly. What was better than bewitching Harry's broomstick to carry him over the Forbidden Forest and drop him into a werewolf's den?

_I am bloody brilliant._

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With the aid of a few sixth-year Slytherin friends, Harry's broomstick was stolen (while he left it on the benches to go put away the crate of balls) and bewitched so that the next rider would be carried far, far away.

Malfoy felt like people usually do on their birthdays (unless they are about to turn forty—that's when birthdays seem to come too quickly).

He, Pansy Parkinson, and Blaise Zabini laughed for about ten minutes straight in the Slytherin common room.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Harry was still unaware of the bewitching of his broomstick.

Luckily for him, he was on Fred and George's good side (he normally was) and they saw Malfoy coming to get the broomstick. They switched the broom for an old Silver Arrow since they had a good idea for that broomstick, which was perfected by their little sister…

Fred and George thought the exact same thing as they walked down the hallway.

_Ginny is bloody brilliant._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Harry proudly carried the broomstick down the staircase to the Great Hall before breakfast on Saturday. The Quidditch match was just after breakfast…

Malfoy gleefully watched Harry and the broomstick. _When he mounts that broom, he'll be spirited off to Merlin knows where… _

Fred and George were carrying the real Firebolt, closely watching Harry and closely followed by Ginny, who had her wand at the ready…

Snape was coming out of the Great Hall…

Percy was following him, angry since he'd lost his Head Boy badge (courtesy of Fred)…

George approached Harry. "Hey, Harry," He whispered something in Harry's ear. Harry was shocked. "No way."

"Yes way, but here's the plan…"

It all happened in a matter of minutes. The broom was standing behind Malfoy, who was waiting impatiently.

Suddenly, Ginny, Fred, George, and Harry pointed their wands at the broom and screamed, "_Catalyst_!"

Immediately, the broom shot forward at Malfoy.

Ginny smiled. "That'll carry him off to Merlin knows where."

Unfortunately, Malfoy had the sense to duck. So the broom flew over him and flew right at…

Snape 

"Oh man—" muttered Fred.

Not only that, it picked up Percy, who sat down behind Snape with a dull thud.

"Oh _crap_!" muttered George.

The broomstick soared towards the Great Hall doors, which were being opened by tiny Professor Flitwick.

"Oh ----!" muttered Ginny. All three boys stared at her. "Uh—sorry."

The broom climbed up higher and higher into the air and soared with lightning speed through the Great Hall.

Professor Dumbledore watched its progress and had to smile.

The broomstick wheeled itself around as Snape and Percy hung onto its handle, screaming and yelling as hard as they possibly could.

Sadly enough for them, Flitwick was unconscious, having being kicked over by Snape as he had flown through the Great Hall doors.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The broomstick crashed against a window. "-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------!"

It flew out through the Entrance Hall and onto the grounds. A throng of students and teachers followed to watch.

The two poor people soared fast around and around the castle, over the Quidditch field, and started to zoom around the lake.

Professor Trelawney saw her opportunity from the Tower to be useful. She did something extraordinarily stupid. Pointing her wand at the broom, she shouted, "_Finite_!"

The broomstick stopped—and fell.

"**_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH!_**"

Percy and Snape landed in the lake with a loud splash.

And of course, reader, our trusty friend with the camera was standing right there, camera at the ready.

**A/N:** Thank you so much for your ideas for Sylvester. I have used them and I really liked all of them. To you Snape-and-Percy lovers, (Myrtle, my friend) I'm very sorry I had to do this to them, but hey, it amused me. I may wrap up in a while, but I have some more ideas for Ginny's pranks, so…please keep reading!


	11. Ginny's Revenge

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter and will never own Harry Potter.

Ginny's Revenge 

"I will kill Malfoy."

"Let's not get so extreme, dear sister," responded Fred.

"Tough luck, _dear brother_. How could he do this to me?"

"Well, let's look back a little. Did you recently do anything to Malfoy to make him this…well, you know, did you do anything to make him feel more malicious than usual?"

"No. Not that I can remember."

"Yes you did."

"What'd I do?"

"That whole screw-Malfoy's-evil-trick-on-Harry's-broom thing. It was not really supposed to backfire on Malfoy's favourite teacher," interjected George.

"Yeah, but you guys helped."

"Trust me Ginny," said George, "it is _much_ easier to pick on people who are younger than you and less experienced with magic."

"But I…"

"Let's not argue, little sis, and think positively."

"And what did I gain from being publicly humiliated by Draco Abraxas Malfoy?"

"Well, an opportunity to prank him—without doing something lethal. Last sentence being the key phrase."

"And note to yourself, sis," added Fred, "Do _not_ sleep with a picture of your crush under the pillow, as hot as he may be—hey!"

Ginny had thrown a pillow at Fred's head, blushing crimson.

"I'm just glad Harry didn't get wind of it, that's all."

"Don't count on that, Ginny," cut in George. "I think he knows already. You're not that discree—ouch!"

Ginny threw a pillow at his head too. "What do you suggest?"

George pulled an indifferent look. "Well, I don't know. In order to gain someone's help, my dear younger sibling, you must realise that it is unwise—_extremely_ unwise—to throw pillows at his, and his accomplice's head."

"Please?"

George gave an evil smile. "Certainly. You don't actually think that _I_ would miss a chance to do something more to Lucius Malfoy's son?"

Fred spoke, "I'm not sitting around while you guys have fun. Here's my idea…"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"No, Fred, I _absolutely refuse_ to reveal his chicken-imprinted boxers to Pansy. No way. Nothing doing. _Nada_."

"Your problem then."

"Would _you _like to steal the boxers?"

"Okay, you have a point there."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Absolutely not, George. Do I look insane? Plus, that's not even _my_ level of magic."

"Well I thought that Transfiguring him into a balloon was a good idea. Then you could pop him. Hey—what about turning him into a five-year-old kid?

"Heck no. What if he and Sylvester gang up on us?"

"Okay, you have a point there."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"This one sounds okay, but you'd better be sure it works."

"It will."

"_You're doing it._"

"No way. It's _your revenge._"

"Humph."

"Mind you Ginny," started Fred, "You'd better get on Sylvester's good side, if you want him to do this."

"Fine. Leave it to me."

She walked out of the common room. George smiled. "She will make me proud."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Ginny walked towards Sylvester's room, armed with her wand, someone's makeup (Pansy Parkinson's actually), and a good-sized chocolate cake with cocoanut ice cream inside and chocolate frosting.

She knocked lightly on the door, her heart pounding. _Please do not do anything foul. Please do **not** do anything foul. Please…_

The door opened.

Sylvester stood there, warily. "What do **you** want?"

"Just to say hi, and also that I'm very sorry for all the stuff I did—like putting snow in your hat, and—and other things."

"So?"

"I brought you this." She handed him the cake and a fork. "I thought you'd like it." _Thank you Harry, for the cake, and thank you Mum, for sending it to Harry._

Sylvester took the cake from her. His eyes widened greedily and happily. Ginny's heart melted. _Aw! He's so cute! Now I want to take him with me! Oh, God, what am I saying?_

"Thank you." _She can't be that bad. She gave me cake. No one who's a meanie will give you cake like that. And she even brought a fork._

He started eating and got ice cream all over his face. "Th-Thanks, um—um…"

"Ginny."

"Okay. Thanks Ginny."

"You're really not so bad," she muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing. Hey, I was just thinking, that mean blond boy, who called you weird?"

"Yeah. I don't like him no more. He's mean."

"Don't you want to do something to him?"

"Kinda."

"Well, I have an idea."

"What sort of idea?" asked the little boy, through a mouthful of frosting.

"Well, here's what I think…"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Ginny waited behind the door of the DADA classroom. _Okay, Malfoy, hurry up…_

Malfoy was swearing under his breath at what a stupid teacher that Professor Lupin was.

Okay fine, be that way. As long as you're not aware of your surroundings, I can attack more easily. It's really lucky that Professor Lupin can't hear you.

"Useless, teacher…doesn't even know how the ---- to teach a decent class, wait till my father gets my next owl."

Come on, move a little this way… 

"Should just blow off this class in future…stupid Defense, do we really need it?"

YES! A little closer now, come on, my precious! 

"Bloody Potter, thinks he knows everything. Top student, top student, my ----."

_You do NOT insult Harry. Okay, that does it, to hell with being discreet. _Ginny rushed in with her wand raised. "STUPEFY!"

Malfoy didn't even have time to see who was wielding the wand. He fell to the floor as the jet of bright red light struck him in the face.

Ginny pointed her wand at Malfoy's unmoving body. "_Wingardium Leviosa!_"

Malfoy hovered about three feet in the air. Ginny sent him into Sylvester's room, just a few rooms away from the DADA classroom.

Sylvester was waiting with the case of makeup and whatever stuff grown women put on their faces and in their hair. (**A/N: **I hate makeup, even though I'm in my teens. Maybe that's because the only makeup I've ever worn is stage makeup, and I find that incredibly annoying and distracting. Don't you? Drives someone crazy.)

"So, put him on the floor, Ginny. You're really cool, you know?"

Ginny grinned. _I'm definitely on his good side._

"Get to it, then."

"What do I do? I don't wear makeup."

"Here—take this tube and spread it over his lips."

"Hey! Colour comes out! Now his lips are red! Like the scary clowns Mommy showed me once!"

"Is your mum a Muggle?"

"No…Daddy is."

"Oh, I see."

"Why?"

"Clowns aren't a wizard thing."

"If you're pureblood, how do you know?"

"My dad likes Muggles a lot."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Ginny and Sylvester dragged Malfoy off to a broom closet several corridors away.

"We'll go now, Sylvester, and we'll wait for him to wake up. He'll get a surprise in there."

"Really? Is it nice?"

"Um—no."

"I still don't get what's so bad about boys wearing makeup."

"It just looks funny."

"That's all?"

"Um—yeah. People like that are generally in drag."

"Oh."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Malfoy woke up two hours later. _Oh my God! How long was I in here? Come to that, HOW DID I GET HERE? Whatever. I'd just better get out of here. _He checked his watch. _Six thirty? Let's see, so it's dinner. Yeah. Cool. Well, that's okay. At least I missed History of Magic. And Herbology. What a good day! _

Malfoy walked out of the closet and made his way to the Great Hall. Two girls were standing by the entrance, talking about some celebrity-wizarding-singer. As soon as he passed them, they burst out laughing.

_What's so ------- funny? Go away, for goodness'' sake. _He walked into the Great Hall, where the House tables were full of chattering students, happy that the day was done.

Immediately, all eyes turned to him. A stunned silence hit the Great Hall. Then, suddenly…

**Everyone started to laugh at him.**

Everyone.

Confused, Malfoy ran to the Slytherin table, next to Pansy. "What's up?" he asked.

Pansy fought to keep her face straight. "Did you—um—check to see how you look?"

"No. Should I?"

"In this case, yes. Here." She handed him a small mirror.

Malfoy opened it and saw his face.

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!**"

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**A/N:** Had to do that to Malfoy. The little kid who I kind of modelled Sylvester on is a little more like Sylvester in this chapter, in that he loves food, no joke. I think his parents had to lock the Popsicles into the fridge, because he kept eating them, and he's only four. Lots of love to you! And also, if you give him something sweet, he'll love you (actually, he's a lot more open now that he's gotten a bit older—but he still loves cake). :)


	12. Sylvester's Serious Mistake

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter. ARE YOU QUITE SATISFIED?

Sylvester's Serious Mistake 

(**A/N:** short and humorous, I hope. I'm going to wrap this story up soon, because it's getting a bit too long. Ginny's pranks will not die forever, though. They will continue to add what humour I have to other stories in future.)

Sylvester still didn't understand what was so funny about Draco Malfoy coming down to the Great Hall in makeup. Though he didn't like him much, a small, tiny part of him thought Malfoy was _cool_.

Sylvester didn't like his babyish curls. He admired Malfoy's older-looking straight blond hair. _I hate my curly hair. It looks silly. I'm a big boy. _He also thought people were laughing nice laugher, as in because of something funny Malfoy did.

He thought they were laughing with Malfoy, not at him. He wanted to be like Malfoy. He wanted people to admire him. _Maybe I should wear makeup like he did. _He slyly suggested this idea to Malfoy to get his approval. Malfoy agreed. (He knew one of the people responsible for his humiliation and wanted revenge)

The next morning, Sylvester came down to breakfast wearing Pansy's makeup. Ginny forgot to take it back, you see.

A stunned silence hit the Great Hall. Sylvester spoke up in case no one got it. "I'm in drag."

Ginny groaned, rushed forward, picked up the confused kid, and _ran_.

"Sylvester. That's not something you announce."

Sylvester had tears in his eyes. "No one laughed."

"Good. That's wrong on about seven different levels, my friend."

"Draco did it and people laughed with him."

"They laughed at him, not with him."

"Is there a difference?"

"_Yes._"

"Oh. So, boys don't wear makeup?"

"No, not really."

"I thought it was funny."

"It's not the type of thing you do to yourself. Okay?"

"Okay."

"You're lucky your aunt wasn't there."

"Yeah, I guess. I hate Malfoy! He said to do it!"

"Oh…well…"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Ginny hit Malfoy with another of her spells—it was the same one that had been used on Sylvester to say to everyone, "I think you're sexy."

Only Malfoy was saying, "I love Hermione Granger. I like Muggle girls."

So when Malfoy turned up for Charms with a few long scratches from someone's nail down his cheek, no one was surprised.


	13. Malfoy's Evil Deed

**Disclaimer: **Hmm… maybe I'm forgetting something here…(angry lawyers and pitchforks) OKAY, OKAY! I don't own Harry Potter!

A/N: Okay, harrypotterfreak93, I think I know what idea you're talking about, even if it's not the idea, I'm using it. Thanks:) 

And I lied. I'll continue this story further because I have some more ideas to the storyline.

Malfoy's Evil Deed 

Malfoy received a parcel the next morning at breakfast. The exhausted owl that delivered it flopped noisily into a pitcher of orange juice, splattering Pansy's perfect, just-finished mascara ("Ew!" Pansy screamed. "Foul fowl!").

Malfoy ignored her and tore it open. There was a letter from his father, answering the one that Malfoy had sent to him. Malfoy silently read it. (He'd asked his father for something to get revenge on the "stupid, bratty, son of a Gryffindor")

Here you are, Draco. It had to be a nice little fairy story, or the brat wouldn't bother to read it. It'll "erase" him, so to speak, and the brat will be nothing more than a cute picture.

Malfoy grinned. _This'll be fantastic._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The book was titled Skippy the Pixie and his Adventures in Gnome Land.

Malfoy met Sylvester trotting down the hallway from the bathroom. Ginny was also passing by and stood to watch. _This can't be good._

"Hello, Sylvester."

"H-hi Draco."

"Why the scared face?"

"You're scary."

Malfoy laughed. "No need to be. Hey, look, I've got you a present."

Of course, Sylvester couldn't resist such a nice, shiny book. _Wow. He can't be so bad._

Ginny became anxious. She ran towards Sylvester. "Don't touch that book."

Sylvester was annoyed. "Why?"

Malfoy frowned. _Stupid Weaselette. Ruining my plan. _"Yes, why?"

"Because you've probably done something to it."

"Of course I haven't."

"Stop telling me what to do, Ginny."

Sylvester took the book and opened it. In a gust of wind and flashes of purple and green light, Sylvester vanished into the book. (A/N: kind of an Inkheart crossover, but not really)

Ginny screamed. "WHAT'VE YOU DONE WITH HIM?"

Malfoy opened the book. There was a picture of Sylvester, looking miserable and wearing your average elf costume, including the stupid hat.

"SYLVESTER!"

Malfoy still suffered. He walked into DADA with several bruises, an angry look, and purple hair. Poor Malfoy. Ah well.

**A/N:** short and sweet, I hope. Next chapter will be longer. Thanks for the idea, I kind of modified it to fit the story, but thanks again.


	14. Fight for the Book

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter. Happy now?

**A/N:** Okay, I definitely messed up with the idea and confused it with one that my brother gave me (kind of realised it _after_ I posted the chapter)—my bad, sorry.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Fighting For The Book

Malfoy walked around with purple hair for the next few days. Luckily for him, Madam Pomfrey knew how to solve these problems.

Ginny was not at all satisfied (even though Madam Pomfrey was able to fix her hair and face issue as well). Sylvester, though it was difficult to admit, was actually a very sweet person. Only then did she realise how much she actually missed him.

Professor McGonagall was not at all happy. Well, no kidding, she'd just lost her nephew and no one had any idea as to how to get him out of the book. Ginny sat on her bed, staring at the picture of the cherub-like pixie that was staring at her from page fifty-four, in his little green costume. The spell had stopped working, after one person was sucked in, so Ginny was in no particular danger.

She sighed. _How do I get him out of there?_

Fred and George did not really want to admit it, but they missed Sylvester as well. They thought that he could have made an amazing troublemaker someday and were really hoping to get him fully on their side. Unfortunately, he was stuck inside a stupid book.

They did concoct an idea one day, however. On a dreary Saturday morning, they presented it to their younger sister.

"How's this? We sneak into Snape's private stores, find a potion, dump it over the book, then get Malfoy, and _then_ take it to Dumbledore?"

"Great plan!"

"Really?" asked George.

"Yeah," replied Ginny (who was more prone to be sarcastic now that she was depressed). "There are just two little flaws. One:_ DUMBLEDORE'S GONE_. The Ministry needed him for something. Two: _Snape will **never** have a spell that will allow students into his personal stores._"

"What makes you say that?" asked Fred. "Look, Harry, Ron, and Hermione got through all McGonagall's, Dumbledore's, Snape's, Sprout's, and Flitwick's spells to save the Philosopher's Stone in their _first _year."

"Yeah," interjected his twin. "And in first year, we took the map."

"What map?"

Fred coloured. "Mind your business."

"The point is," carried on George, "that we are now older than they were and they were doing something much bigger and a lot more risky. This isn't a life or death situation. Theirs was. There was stuff there that could kill you. What would Snape do to a few intruding Gryffindors?"

"…"

"Quiet Ginny. We could pull this off."

"There is no way…"

"Get Hermione."

"Hermione?"

"She's got the brains, right? Who else?"

"Fine. But you forgot her other aspects."

"Like?"

"No rule-breaking, anything fishy, go to the teachers, stay in common room during the evening, et cetera."

"Ah…"

"But it's worth a try."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Under normal circumstances, Ginny, I wouldn't bother with you, but since you're my friend, and I feel bad for the five-year-old, I will."

"Excellent. Now, where exactly are his private stores?"

"Um, I don't know. Hey—do I _look_ like the person who actually goes around stealing from teachers' private stores?"

"No. Good point."

Fred came down the boys' staircase holding something silvery. "I borrowed this from Harry," he said, putting down the Invisibility Cloak.

Hermione was suspicious. "What do you mean, 'borrowed'?"

"I borrowed it. As in I asked him if I could use it, told him why, and he lent it to me. I thought you guys might need it. What—do you think I steal?"

"…"

"Shush. Anyway, I'm going into his office first and searching it to find out where exactly his stuff is. But _you_ are breaking whatever spells he's put on it, so good luck."

"Humph."

"Well—if you don't want Sylvester…"

"I _do_! But I still think it's risky."

"There's no fun if there's no risk, Hermione."

"Wise words from Fred Weasley. Whatever. Go ahead and search. But tell us which door it is, or something like that."

"No problem."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Malfoy was feeling vindictive (bad sign). _How to scar Weaselette the most?_ The answer was simple really. After much pacing, swearing, and banging his head on a wall, Malfoy felt extraordinarily stupid. _It's obvious, isn't it? Get that book from her. If it's gone, so is the blond brat. Excellent. _

_Oh -------, I don't even know the Gryffindor password. But she probably carries it with her, so not to lose it. _What a wonderful epiphany. He was, in fact, correct.

Ginny had a tendency to carry the book about, since she was afraid someone would steal it. And someone was planning to steal it. Oh dear.

She left her bag closed in the DADA classroom. Malfoy saw her leave for a moment. Harry and Ron were watching him, knowing that (from the greedy light in his eyes) he was up to absolutely no good.

Malfoy crept into the classroom (good background music: theme song of "The Pink Panther"). He looked about him to see that no one was watching. Apparently, he wasn't doing a good job of that; Harry and Ron could see him. He opened the bag and began to pull out the book. Ron drew in his breath.

Ginny was walking down the hallway, back to the DADA classroom. Harry caught her, just before she walked in. Ginny turned red. Harry took no notice and whispered something to her.

Ginny scowled. "Okay, fine. He'll do that. Stand somewhere at the end of the hall and if I run by you, I'll pass you the book. Cut out page fifty-four and give the book back. Got that? _Fifty-four_."

"Don't worry, Ginny, I got it."

Ginny jumped on Malfoy, just as he was leaving the classroom, pulling off an amazing tackle. "Ouch—what the…?"

She grabbed the book from him and got to her feet. Malfoy was starting to get up—so Ginny ran, as though running for her life.

She threw the book at Harry, who caught it, flipped to page fifty-four (with lightning speed), muttered, "_Diffindo!_" and passed it to Ginny, who ran.

Malfoy was getting to his feet (he was completely winded) and ran after the second-year girl. He caught her by her hair, pulled the book from her grasp, smiled, and left.

When she was sure he was gone, she started laughing. Harry came up to her. "Fifty-four. Are you okay?"

"Yes, thanks Harry."

She smiled at him. _I'll never actually get him._

Harry gave her the page and left. Ginny walked back to the common room. She and Hermione planned their excursion for that night.


	15. The Rescue, sort of

Disclaimer: I clearly do not own Harry Potter, considering the fact that I don't happen to be J.K. Rowling—or lines from the llama movie—what was it called?

**The Rescue…Sort of**

_Malfoy was getting to his feet (he was completely winded) and ran after the second-year girl. He caught her by her hair, pulled the book from her grasp, smiled, and left. _

_When she was sure he was gone, she started laughing. Harry came up to her. "Fifty-four. Are you okay?"_

"_Yes, thanks Harry."_

_She smiled at him. _I'll never actually get him.

_Harry gave her the page and left. Ginny walked back to the common room. She and Hermione planned their excursion for that night._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Fred was in detention. Snape caught him sneaking about the office and he was polishing dishes in the kitchens (Peeves caused a serious accident down there—to be brief, it involved a roast chicken and an unconscious house-elf).

Ginny was at dinner. She'd decided with Hermione that Hermione would remember everything that Fred had told her and Ginny would do the actual stealing. Hermione would break whatever enchantments there were. Hermione was in the common room early, as planned. "I owe you, Hermione," said Ginny as Hermione left the Great Hall.

Hermione was getting worried, however. They were just about to leave the common room. It was about eight forty-five p.m. She had never really broken a school rule before…except sneaking a dragon hatchling out to the North Tower at midnight, creeping out at night and battling various enchantments in her first year, brewing a potentially hazardous potion and turning herself into a cat in second year…um hm. That covered just about everything.

So her record wasn't _exactly_ the cleanest record (it was still better than Harry's or Ron's). But she really didn't want to mess up this year. So far, she'd done very well. But stealing into Professor Snape's private stores and pilfering a potion was not quite an activity that fell into the category of "school-appropriate".

A tiny voice was whispering to her at the back of her mind.

Do you really want to get detention—or expulsion? 

But her conscience was pricking her.

_But Sylvester needs help._

Is it worth it? 

_Yes._

Couldn't you let someone else do it? 

_No._

Does it have to be you? Do you want to risk it all, Hermione? 

_But Sylvester needs it._

Someone else…a properly trained wizard. What if you kill him? 

_Don't leave Sylvester there by himself._

_Oh, shut up. I'm trying to lead her down the right path._

_Well **I'm** leading her down the path that rocks. _

Hermione was getting annoyed. "Cut it out already!" she muttered angrily, slapping herself in the face. "Oh God, I sound like Harry."

"Sound like me what?"

"Oh! Hi Harry."

"Nervous then?"

"I don't want to…"

"Come on, what's more important? There's a little kid here, stuck in that page."

He left Hermione to her thoughts and hung around by the portrait hole. In exactly two minutes, Ginny climbed through. As planned, Harry was holding the Invisibility Cloak.

"Thanks Harry. Hermione, are you feeling okay? You look a little pale."

"Oh no…I'm feeling—wonderful. Let's go."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Ginny, you realise how much more work has to be done here?"

"All we have to do is find the potion. Now what'd Fred tell you?"

"George came in. Fred got caught."

Ginny scowled. "Hm. Not surprising, is it?" Hermione nodded her agreement.

"Well, we'll have to find it, that's all."

"I suppose drugging Snape at dinner did have its benefits, then."

"_You did WHAT?_"

Ginny blushed. "Whoops. I wasn't planning to tell you that bit."

"Ginny!"

"Sorry."

"What did you use?"

"Sleeping Draught, courtesy of Ron."

"Ah. We were making that in Potions today. He must have taken an extra flask. His was quite good interestingly enough, but…oh dear Lord."

"What's wrong?"

"I remember Snape saying to himself, 'This is good, most unfortunately, if rather strong.'"

"Gives us more time, then, hm?"

"Yes, I guess so."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The two girls crept to the door of Snape's office. They could hear his snores from the chamber annexed to the office.

"God, he sounds like a bulldozer."

"A what?"

"It's like—a big shovel connected to a car."

"If you say so."

"Your dad hasn't told you about them?"

"Well, I'm sure he'd be pleased to hear of them from you."

"No way."

Ginny smiled. "Okay, so, door. Where could it be?"

"Feel around here. Oh—wait!" Hermione's hand hit a metal ring set into the floor.

Ginny pulled on it. "Come one, come _on_! Work with me here!"

"It won't move!"

"Let's try somewhere else. I mean, there's always a chance that it's not there."

"Yes, I suppose."

Ginny saw a roughly cut door in the side of a shelf. "Hey! Look here."

Hermione eagerly opened it. "I'll watch the door of the office; you tell me what you find."

Ginny rummaged about the inside of the cabinet. "Several bottles of Ogden's Old Firewhiskey, Every Flavour Beans, hm—a pickled frog heart, if I'm not mistaken, an old hat, a book, and EW!"

"What?"

"Greying underpants."

"I don't think he keeps the potions in there."

"Me neither."

"It must be under that door!" Hermione had forgotten to lower her voice.

"Shush!"

"What?"

"You're amazingly indiscreet."

"I'm not!"

"Well, you're being as quiet as a small rhino then. Help me with this thing."

The girls pulled on the ring. Finally, _finally…_

"It's open!" exclaimed Ginny.

"SHHH! Talk about indiscreet!"

"Sorry."

"Okay, let's feel about here…AHHH!" Suddenly, Hermione vanished.

Ginny pressed her hand against her mouth to stifle the sound. She peered deeper and deeper into the darkness. "Hermione? Hermione, I—AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!"

Ginny vanished too.


	16. Alternate Opening

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

**Alternate Opening**

Hermione was quite disoriented. "Ginny…_Ginny!_ Are you in here?" _Oh that's stupid. Why would she be in here? For all I know, she could have fallen into a different area, or she could have left for help. No, she wouldn't; we'd both get into some serious trouble. Ginny Weasley! I really wish I didn't get mixed up in your ridiculous schemes right now! ARGH!_

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Ginny was quite disoriented. _Why the heck does he have a small stone room under his office? _She travelled further and further into the small stone passageway, deeper and deeper into _God knows where I'm going._ "Hermione? Hermione! Are you in here?"

_Why on earth would she be in here anyway? Oh, me and my stupid brain! ARGH!_

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Hermione was worried. "What if no one finds me? What if I'm left here to die? How long does someone last without food or water again? Oh I think I'm getting dizzy! Oh, I think I'm fainting! Oh I think…"

"I FOUND YOU!"

"Oh, no, now I think I'm hearing voices."

"Hermione, it's me!"

"Ginny?"

"Um hm."

"Thank God. Where on earth are we?"

"I have no…"

"LOOK AT THE MESS YOU'VE GOTTEN US INTO!"

"Hermione, I needed to save Sylvester. Do you notice that he's GONE?"

"Yes, but we could be killed here, miles under the school, with no one to find us. What'll we do? We're down here, lost…"

Ginny stared about her. "We may be down here, Hermione, but we're not lost."

"What do you mean 'not lost'? Have you been sneaking down into Snape's office?"

"Of course not. I wouldn't be looking for the potions cabinet if I had been."

"Where are we?"

"I remember here. This is where he took me when…"

"Well where w…oh my God." She pointed a shaking finger at a large stone statue of an imperious-looking (and somewhat intimidating) man.

Ginny looked, and fainted. A rotting Basilisk corpse lay at the foot of the statue.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Ginny woke about twenty minutes later.

"Oh, you're okay!"

After a few pleasantries, Ginny frowned, as though she had realised something.

"Listen, Hermione, I've figured it out."

"What?"

"Dad told me about the old Potions Master here, fifty years ago, a bit before his time, but not too much. It was this fat old man called Horace Slughorn."

"Right, okay, so?"

"One minute. Dad muttered in passing that Slughorn was always comparing him to Tom, some student who'd come to Hogwarts before."

"What do you mean?"

"Saying things to the teachers, stuff like, 'Enthusiastic, but a bit too enthusiastic, don't you think, Dippet? Definitely not with Tom's brains.' And then Dippet, the headmaster at the time, I think, would say, 'Ah yes, Tom. Fascinating boy.' So you see? Tom _must_ have been Tom _Riddle_. He was probably invited to Slughorn's office all the time, so he knew the place well. And he found the entrance to the Chamber, I mean, you don't usually see the Head Boy and top student sneaking about a girls' bathroom, right?"

"That's absurd, but it…"

"What?"

"It makes sense, somehow. Wow."

"Never mind that, why didn't it come and finish off Snape? Do everyone a favour…"

"Ginny!"

"Well it's true."

"Let's just concentrate on getting out of here."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

**A/N: **Well, even if no one likes it, I thought the alternate-route-to-the-Chamber theory was pretty cool. Goodbye, I shall work on another chapter another day.


	17. SYLVESTER!

**Disclaimer:** Though I am a delinquent writer, I have returned and still do not own Harry Potter.

**SYLVESTER!**

"Hermione, this sucks."

"Like it's my fault. Am I the one who comes up with the ridiculous schemes?"

"Well, you helped."

"Don't blame me."

"I'm not."

"…"

"Well, I needed something to complain about."

"…"

"Stop that, Hermione."

"It makes me feel better."

"And it's annoying me, so there."

"And that's a pointless argument, if I ever heard one."

0o0o0o00o0o0o00o

"Hermione, this sucks."

"…"

"_Hermione_."

"…"

"HERMIONE."

"…"

"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?"

"_Don't worry, Hermione, it's okay. It's just a little nuisance at the back of your head. Maybe if you close your eyes, she'll go away._"

Ginny started to laugh. Hermione grinned.

"So what happens now?"

"You're the smart one, Hermione. You decide."

"Don't look at me. The genius is off duty for now."

Ginny looked at her blankly.

"Okay, you're useless. Here's what's what, Ginny: point one, Sylvester is stuck in this book. Point two, we're stuck in this room. Point three—OH MY GOD, THERE ARE SPIDERS ON MY ROBE!"

Ginny brushed them off. "Happy?" Suddenly, a pile of gold coins fell out of her sleeve. "What the… well, I don't know how those got there. What was point three?"

"I forgot."

"Fine genius you are." She pulled out the page and set it down (right next to the spiders as it happens). Tears stung her eyes. She angrily brushed them away. Suddenly, there was a flash of light.

"SYLVESTER!"

Sylvester was standing there, now in his normal clothes, looking scared, but relieved to see Ginny.

"How did you—what did, why—"

"I don't know. There was this funny light and then I was here."

Hermione smiled.

"What's there to be happy about? We're still stuck!" asked Ginny.

"The spiders are gone."

"How…?

"You put the page next to them. My assumption is that something has to be returned to the book and something has to leave—that's how the spell works. It's a fair exchange. That's why you've got all that gold."

"They seem to be real Galleons. Cool! But Malfoy said the spell stopped working after one time."

"That should tell you how feeble Malfoy's knowledge of spells is." She checked her watch. "It's midnight. Weird things happen at midnight."

"All right then."

They sat in silence for a few minutes.

Suddenly, a high-pitched, happy voice jolted them out of their thoughts.

"Oh, to be in the company of two fair lasses at this dark time just brings the joy into me heart."

Ginny scowled at Sylvester.

"Oh great. You brought a leprechaun with you."


	18. Tricky

**Disclaimer: **Clearly, I still do not own Harry Potter.

Tricky 

"I've read about those!" gasped Hermione in astonishment.

"How did I know that you were going to say that?"

"Shush—they're supposed to be really lucky, aren't they?"

Ginny snorted. "What _have _you been reading about them? Leprechauns are a pain in the a—" Hermione made a warning noise and looked significantly at Sylvester.

"Neck," Ginny finished, grinning slightly.

"But they're…"

"But nothing. They go about throwing gold coins at you—which vanish in a matter of hours, so it's more or less useless. They chatter nonstop. The have unlimited energy. And—last but not least…"

"What?"

"They're notorious for getting drunk on Firewhiskey."

"Ah."

"Don't happen to have a pint on you, do you fair maid?" the leprechaun asked Hermione.

Ginny rolled her eyes. "No she doesn't. And who are you?"

"I'm Tricky."

"That's fabulous, but your _name_?"

"Tricky."

Sylvester broke in. "He really is called that, Ginny." He whispered dramatically to her, "He keeps following me around. And he smells funny."

Ginny scowled at the little bearded man. Hermione smiled. "Aw, he's adorable."

"You'd think so, _fair maid_. Come on, we've still got to get out of here."

000o0o0ooo0o0o00

As they slipped down a slimy path, Tricky chattered incessantly. Even Hermione was becoming irritated. _Ginny was right._

Each had different thoughts running through their minds as they walked on silently—save Tricky.

_**When will that ridiculous midget shut up?**_

Why didn't I find out more about the Chamber of Secrets? Oh right—I was Petrified. That could explain a lot.

**I'm hungry. And I didn't like Skippy the gnome. He was rude. And he had a stupid smile. **

_**Shut UP!**_

Tricky started to sing. "Oh a fine pint of beer wouldn't do us any harm, and a fine pint of beer…"

Hermione had had enough. She pointed her wand at the leprechaun. "_Silencio!_"

Tricky shut up.

Ginny suddenly exclaimed, "I see a light!"

"What?"

"Look! There!"

And it was true. There was a light. And a staircase. And it was leading _out of the Chamber._


	19. Karma

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter. And I'm too tired to think of an exciting or sarcastic disclaimer today.

Karma 

Ginny, Hermione, Sylvester, and Tricky climbed up the steep and slippery steps to discover an opening into a hallway where stood Ron and…Snape.

"Well, well, well, what a surprising encounter. Weasley, Miss Weasley, Miss Granger, Minerva's little nephew, and—oh goodness me, you seem to have illegally stolen a leprechaun."

He smiled his cruel smile. "Come with me, all of you."

Ron whispered to Ginny. "I'm sorry! I didn't get him, okay? He kind of turned up when I was gouging out bricks and started up with his—you know how he is. He thinks I'm some mad juvenile delinquent!"

"That's all right, Ron. Where's Harry?"

"Hospital Wing. Malfoy hexed him and then he got away."

"I'll get that blond creep, just you wait."

"Well we are in some deep sh—"

"_Ron!_" Ginny pointed to the little boy following them with a sad face.

"Trouble."

But all was not lost, reader. For no sooner had Snape come to the staircase leading to Dumbledore's office, McGonagall swept out from behind a pillar in a wave of dark green.

"Oh, thank _heavens!_ Miss Granger, Miss Weasley, Weasley…you've found him! Oh! Thank you! Sylvester!"

Ginny stifled a giggle, Hermione bit her lip, and Ron faked a cough. None of them had ever seen Professor McGonagall in such a happy mood.

With more strength than the students thought she possessed, McGonagall scooped up her nephew and hugged him. Ginny couldn't help it; she started to laugh.

Professor McGonagall didn't notice. "You deserve something. All of you."

Snape coloured slightly. "Erm—Professor…"

"Ah! Professor Snape! Here you are! What do you think—fifty points apiece?"

"But—but…"

"Oh all right, that may be a bit much, forty-five points apiece then?"

"Well—that seems to be…"

"Too little! Fifty points apiece."

Hermione grinned. _Sweet!_

Snape flushed red.

0o0o00o00o0o0oo00o0

Tricky, of course, was still following them. Hermione lifted the Silent spell. He frowned at her.

"You can speak now. But not too much or else…" she waved her wand, threateningly.

Tricky tested his voice a little. "Fair fiery-haired lass, you are the one who has saved us all." Ginny scowled. _Annoying little twit. _ "I remain now your humble servant."

"Oh for God's sake, spare me."

"No, I do mean it, my beauty. Anything."

"Just—go. Be free. Here." She handed him a Sugar Quill from her pocket. Anything to get him to go away.

"AHH! Don't do that!"

"What? I…" Ginny froze, and then smiled, as though she had remembered something.

Hermione was confused. "_What?_"

"Leprechauns have a peculiar characteristic, Hermione. If you do them a favour, they've got to do something back for you. It's a fair exchange."

"Oh! So—hey, Ginny, you _could_ get back at Malfoy, if you really wanted to."

"Hermione! You're brilliant!" To Tricky, she said, "Hey, I actually _could_ use your services."

"Hm. I owe you twice now anyway. Hm."

Hermione could have banged her head over and over on the nearest pillar. _Great. I got her started again. _

0oo0o0o0o00o0o0ooo

Malfoy woke up feeling irritable on Saturday. He wondered why. Ah. Maybe because his hair was still purple. _Stupid Weaselette. Why does she know so many spells?_

He opened the closet. Suddenly, his Nimbus 2001 came crashing down over his head.

"OW! DAMMIT!"

He heard a shrill giggle come from the back. But there was nothing there. Nothing he could see. Suddenly, a bowl of vanilla pudding followed the broomstick.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Malfoy was really mad now. He was covered in the stuff. _And why couldn't it be chocolate? At least I like that pudding. I HATE vanilla!_

Crabbe was roused by the screaming. "Are there birds in here?"

"Shut up, you idiot and go back to sleep!" Crabbe obeyed.

Malfoy stepped into the shower. _Disgusting!_ He was just feeling a bit less sticky when someone flushed the toilet.

"YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOW!" He was greeting by a jet of boiling water.

Red and angry, Malfoy stepped out. He stared at the railing in shock. _Who the hell stole my clothes?_ And they didn't even have the decency to leave him his socks…or underpants. _Well at least…oh great. They took the towels too._

00o0oooo0o0o0o0o00

Malfoy cautiously opened the bathroom door. Crabbe had gone, and he was the last one in the dorm. Malfoy tiptoed over to the open door, banged it shut, and locked it.

Someone snickered audibly. "Who's there?"

He turned around. A strange little man in green was holding what looked like Creevey's camera. "AAAH!" Malfoy grabbed a pillow over an important part of his anatomy just as it took a shot of him in a _very_ compromising situation.

The little man ran off. Malfoy swore loudly.

00o0o0oo00o0oo

Ginny took the photo from Tricky with a broad grin on her face. It was quite good. Malfoy was diving for a pillow with an utterly hilarious expression on his face.

Even Hermione couldn't hold back her laughter.

"Good work, Tricky. You only owe me one favour now."

"Good. Though this was fun, love. Just don't be going and indebting me to you again. I liked the pudding bit."

Ron, who was standing by, shouted indignantly, "Hey! That was the pudding Mum sent us! I was saving it for later!"

"Sorry Ron."

**A/N:** Please read and review. I hope you liked it. I'm really trying.


	20. Poor Pansy

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter

Poor Pansy

Ginny felt amazingly complacent over the next few days. Why wouldn't she? By this time, her hair was red, there were no green stripes, Tricky owed her one more favour, and Malfoy…_Malfoy._

She was basically planning on blackmailing him. Colin had kindly assisted, duplicating the compromising snapshot for her—several times. So, with about seventy-eight photos of Malfoy diving for a pillow with an expression of pure shock and utter horror, Ginny felt light-hearted and happy.

Even Harry had to say it was pretty funny. Ron was revolted. "No wonder he's such a prat. Look at his skinny little self. I'd be really mean if I looked like that."

"Ron, you're awful."

"That's okay, sis."

Tricky had been rewarded with a bottle of butterbeer from Ron. He didn't really like the stuff. He pulled a face when he saw that it wasn't a large bottle of hard liquor—preferably Firewhiskey—but he coped. And what's more, Ron unknowingly indebted him again.

But if the lass thinks of stuff for me to do like that…well, I'm not too angry at being indebted, then.

Ginny was firm and hard-hearted, but she had a conscience. She decided not to exploit the photos, so long as Malfoy left Sylvester and her friends alone.

Malfoy was made aware of the photos and he meekly agreed to stop tormenting the Gryffindors. _But that doesn't mean I can't do it in my mind. HAHAHAHA! _

Pansy Parkinson was a different matter.

Being Malfoy's girlfriend—in a sense—she was nasty, vile, cruel, repulsive, the whole nine yards. Plus, she'd stolen Hermione's book and pulled a nasty hex on her. Hermione had come out of the Hospital Wing with thick bandages around her right hand where Pansy had burnt with a particularly strong Stinging spell.

Another job for Tricky was forming in Ginny's clever mind.

00o0oo0o0ooo

Pansy woke up on the next Sunday morning feeling refreshed and happy. _That Granger! And they didn't catch who did it. HA!_ Suddenly, she saw long fingers reaching for the makeup case beside her bed.

"AAAAAAAAAAH!" She grabbed for the fingers. Too late! They vanished in a split second, along with her makeup case. "Damn!"

Pansy checked under her bed. There was no one there. _Oh my God; things are getting weirder by the minute! This **is** Hogwarts School, after all, I guess. _She went back to sleep. _This is just a creepy dream. When I wake up again, my case will be there. _

0oo0o0o000o

Pansy was right. The makeup case was still there. Yawning, she pulled on her robes and shoes and walked down the stairs. A few Slytherins were gossiping in the common room. A boy snickered. Scattered wisps of laughter floated about the common room. _What's wrong with them?_ Ignoring the stares and stifled giggles, Pansy strode out of the hidden entrance to the common room and into the hall.

Once she'd reached the Great Hall, the students whispered and stared. They might have restrained their laughter, but for one little factor. Sylvester was there. And he wasn't, shall we say, the most discreet of human beings/wizards.

"HAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAA! _LOOK AT HER FACE AND HER HAIR! HAAA HAAAA HAAAAAAAAAA!_"

Gales of laughter broke forth at this point. No one cared about Pansy's feelings now, just about the fact that there was blue eyeliner on her mouth, lipstick around her eyes, and her brown hair seemed to have been painted with red, white, and blue to form a British flag (proper background music: Rule Britannia). Did I mention the fact that a Gryffindor lion was painted in gold on her face as well?

Ginny grinned to Fred and George, who were congratulating her on this latest conquest. "And she might be able to wash off the lion, but the hair isn't going to come out. At least for a while. I think hair is my specialty."

Hermione choked into her pumpkin juice. "Here is one that I have absolutely no compunctions about. Nice job, Ginny."

Tricky coughed loudly. "Oh yes, and you too," Hermione hurriedly put in. Tricky smiled.

Nothing could bring Ginny down. She was on a roll. But she felt that she should lie low for a couple weeks or so. And as for Tricky…

He now owed Ron.

But Ron stubbornly refused to give him a job until he thought…

_Hmm. Free food._ "Tricky, you must go and work in the kitchens. You'd like that. You'd be well fed. Go there and make me an éclair."

So it all worked out.

And Pansy's hair—it didn't come out for a while. A _long_ while. So she took to wearing a ridiculously large hat that supported England's Quidditch team.

But she had to dispose of it when, bending over a cauldron in Potions, it fell into a Shrinking Solution and shrunk Snape for two days. Flitwick had to brew a Growth potion with the shrill and precise instructions from the little sallow man.

Unfortunately, potion making wasn't Flitwick's strong point, so Snape's nose grew twice its original size and Madam Pomfrey had another job on her hands.

Not before she told her colleagues and photographed him while he was asleep in the Hospital Wing.


	21. The Last Conquest

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter.

The Last Conquest 

The year was drawing to a close. And Ginny was mad. More than mad. Irate.

Do you know why, reader? Because Professor Lupin was leaving. That's why.

Lupin had been Ginny's absolute favourite teacher. _Why the heck is he leaving? We love him! What's wrong with him?_

Ginny had been fulminating about all this when she walked headfirst into Harry. "Oh!" She coloured brilliantly.

"Sorry, Ginny."

"N-no. I-it's um, my fault."

Harry smiled that meltingly open smile. _Why does he have to do that? _"Hey—Harry? You were with Lupin last night. And I know Hermione knows something about him. I can just tell. Why is he…?"

"Leaving?"

"Yeah."

He pulled her behind a pillar. "Listen, you're not to tell anyone this, but it will have spread throughout the school by now—or it will within the hour. Lupin's a werewolf."

Ginny gasped. "But—but he…he isn't a bad…"

"I know. You know, that's why he was away monthly. He was a wolf at those times."

"Wow, I can't believe it."

"Believe it," said Harry grimly, "Because that's also why he's leaving today."

"No one else knows, though."

"Actually, the whole staff did. And Snape let it 'slip' this morning at the Slytherin table."

"That foul…"

"Yeah, I know."

"I really wish he'd just—hey, Harry. I have an idea."

"Oh no, not another crazy…"

"Come on! Please? Are you or aren't you going to help me?"

"I'm not."

"But it'll involve Snape."

"Exactly. He hates me enough."

"He can't hate you more than he does now."

"Well thanks, Ginny!"

"Sorry. But will you?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Fine. What did you have in mind?"

Ginny whispered in his ear.

00ooo0o0o0o00o0o

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Relax. It's harmless and I haven't been caught once this year."

"Humph."

"I'll keep watch. Hurry up. Don't look like that; it's perfect!"

"You think stealing his wand and replacing it with Fred's trick wand is perfect?"

"Yes."

Harry grabbed the wand and laid the fake wand on the desk.

"Okay, done, let's go!"

"You've got Creevey's camera?"

"Yes."

Snape walked in, not noticing the two figures outside his door. "Perfect timing," Ginny whispered. "Now…"

Snape picked up the wand. He walked down to the Great Hall for the last breakfast.

Ginny and Harry followed.

00ooo0o000o0o0o0o

Fred and George had saved them seats. "Ready?" asked George.

"Yes—now make his cup break!"

Fred pointed his wand at Snape's goblet of wine. "_Fracta!_"

The cup shattered. Snape swore quietly and pulled out 'his' wand to repair it.

Ginny held her breath in anticipation.

And it happened. The wand squirted a jet of water into Snape's sallow face and proceeded to beat him over the shoulders and arms in full view of the teachers and students.

The Hall erupted with laughter, especially the Gryffindor table.

Trelawney, who had come to the Hall to celebrate the last day tried to assist. She dramatically pulled off her shawl and tried to trap the wand. Unfortunately, she got Snape's head and nearly suffocated him.

No one bothered to lift a finger.

And Ginny went home happy, never telling her mother or father exactly how well the year had gone.

Sylvester…he went home to Mommy, who welcomed him with open arms and several kisses. He never told her anything about the red-haired girl except how nice she was.

Tricky…I believe that he works in the Hogwarts kitchens to this day making éclairs, a few of which he nicks every now and then.

Snape…he never gave Ginny a detention again. Unfortunately, the same privilege was not reserved for her twin brothers.

And that was that.

**A/N:** Thanks to my readers and reviewers. I hope you enjoyed this little tale.


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